An Unforgettable Memorial
A year ago today, I had the honour of leading a memorial service for Alan Murray – a wonderful man who passed peacefully on May 6th 2023 after years of living with dementia.
Rather than having a traditional funeral service, Alan’s family chose to have a direct cremation, followed a few weeks later by inviting family and friends to a celebration of his life.
It was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, and the birds were singing… and boy were they!!
The tables in the garden at The Hertford Club were adorned with white cloths and pretty wildflowers in colourful containers, with chilled wine, beer, and soft drinks ready for everyone’s arrival.
A separate table was set aside, draped with the Rhodesian flag, a photo of Alan, a can of his favourite South African beer, and a soft toy he took comfort from during his last days at the nursing home.
All was well until the African bird sounds chosen to be played through speakers set off the birds in the garden. Their squawking had no bounds. It was simultaneously scary and funny — even more so as we didn’t have a mic.
Taking a few deep breaths, I drew strength from my celebrant training and led the service, encouraging all who wanted to stand up to share their memories and pay tribute to Alan while trying hard not to be phased by the boisterous background sounds. Whoever said never to work with children or animals forgot to mention birds!
Poems were read, stories were told, and tears were shed, but mostly it was smiles, laughter, and glasses being raised during a wonderful celebration for a man who had lived his life to the fullest.
Tot “ever so” siens, Alan. Always remembered and securely locked in the hearts of those who love you.
A Celebration of Life service is a wonderful way to honour the life of your loved one, giving you time to come to terms with your loss and celebrate their life at your own pace in a more relaxed environment. The service can still include a eulogy, and personal memories in whichever format you’d prefer – including religious elements, or not – the choice is yours.